Fuse? What fuse?
OMG – and I say again OMG (and that’s not entirely blasphemous, because I’m seriously in need of divine assistance on this one.)
Adam.
Today went quite well really – this morning Adam, Ruth and I slobbed around (well, they slobbed, I worked hard, but apparently achieved nothing – ah, yes, I remember, I folded the laundry – whoo hoo!). Then this afternoon we went to a crafty workshop at church, which was lovely, although Adam was losing it slightly by the end.
He was fine during dinner.
But then we got to bathtime.
First of all he announced
“I was a silly boy. I forgot to go to the toilet before I got in the bath.”
“OK then, do you need to go to the toilet now?”
“No.”
“Adam, have you just done a wee in the bath?” (He had a very odd expression on his face.)
“No.”
“So do you need to go to the toilet?”
“No.”
“So there’s no problem then. You don’t need the toilet, and you haven’t weed in the bath. Why are you talking about this at all?”
(Sits there looking quizzical.)
“Adam, are you sure you haven’t done a wee in the bath?”
“No, but I very nearly did.”
“So you DO need to go to the toilet then?”
“Yes.”
AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
At which point I left the room – in my current state of hormones my head is feeling sufficiently messed with without having to deal with that sort of conversation.
Then it was time to get him dried. This was achieved fairly well. He left the bathroom, I turned off the overhead heater and the light and left behind him.
“Mummy – you’ve forgotten to turn the heater off.”
“No, it’s alright, I’ve just turned it off.”
“No, you haven’t.”
“YES I HAVE.”
“NO MUMMY – IT’S STILL ON.”
“NO ADAM (if block capitals denotes shouting, what can I use to show screaming myself hoarse?) I TURNED IT OFF”
I’m afraid I refused point-blank to read him any stories. I said that if John agreed to do them then he could have some, but I wasn’t prepared to try if he’s in that mood.
While John took Ruth to clean her teeth, I did Adam’s physio with him. This involves stretching his hamstrings 3 times each side, 15 seconds each time. So he knows where he’s up to we count aloud. So he started muttering random numbers to put me off.
Now, to test whether or not you’ve been paying attention.
Was my reaction:
A to chuckle fondly and ruffle his hair as I called him a little tinker.
B to politely point out that I didn’t find that very helpful, and ask him kindly to stop.
C to grit my teeth and firmly remind myself that I love him dearly.
D to walk straight out of the room saying “Goodnight Adam” without giving him his usual bedtime cuddle.
E to rip off my face to reveal the flesh-eating monster underneath and devour the wretched leg in one gulp.
In fact I went with option B – the first time. When he did it AGAIN I went for D. In retrospect that sounds a lot calmer than I felt – rest assured there was a significant amount of petulance in the way I left the room – and I’m sure I don’t need point out that the above account neglects to mention all the wailing and whinging that occured while the various conversations were taking place.
And breathe.
(In the end I did go up and give him a goodnight cuddle – and I do love him dearly.)
In crafty news… er… it’s all been wrapped up ready for Christmas Day – so you’ll have to wait until it’s all unwrapped again before I can take pictures.
six comments:
I’m sorry, I know this is going to sound odd to your readers: but this has provided me with just the laugh I needed this evening! One of the funny things about parenting is the height of emotion that somes with it – how can we love them so much and yet feel so incredibly irritated by them (sometimes) all at the same time?!Big Ruth () (link) - 21 December '06 - 21:58
E! I would have gone to E. Maybe.Aww. Cute little stinker.
Carrie K () (link) - 22 December '06 - 00:04
Definitely E!! That you didn’t is a testament to your character. :)Chris () (link) - 22 December '06 - 05:23
ouch… that sounds painful! Remember the offering of babysittig is always available (though preferably when he isn’t in that mood!)...Glad the craft thing went well.
How’s things going for Christmas?
xXx
Ruth () (link) - 22 December '06 - 14:08
There are times when my fuse is short. Non-existent, actually. The children have survived so far…Louise () - 22 December '06 - 16:35
Wow, you’re a saint – I’d have definitely gone for E!And I think he’ll be a philosopher when he’s grown up!
Daisy () (link) - 22 December '06 - 17:28
